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Father’s day Gift Ideas for the Modern African dad

I’ve consistently found my dad is the hardest person to buy any type of gift, regardless of the occasion. I guess because he is a rather simplistic guy and is satisfied by the more “serious” things in life. I imagine most other African dads (or dads in general) are similar to mine in this respect. Anyway over time, with LOTS of trial and error, we’ve been able to figure out gifts my dad will tend to like and so I’ve decided to share some of those ideas.  They may help anyone else who is also struggling to pick a gift for their African dad.

In no particular order;

  1. Sports related gifts (Mainly football)

African dads tend to be the same in their love of football so gifts related to this tend to be winners. A good gift we were able to choose was a stadium tour and this way probably the best gift we got my dad till date.  This may include a football jersey, tickets to a match, there are loads of options for sports related gifts.

  1. Personalised Gifts

Personalised gifts tend to be a winner with everyone no less African dads. I think the key is buying something that will be functional or goes alongside a hobby/interest e.g. a football jersey with his name printed, personalised stationary, a personalised number plate ( if your account can stretch that far).

  1. Clothing items 

These tend to be more practical than “fun” but you can never have enough socks, cufflinks or shirts. Obviously, ensure to choose something your dad would wear/use or you may end up buying him something that he will use to decorate his wardrobe. So if your dad is not the tie wearing type, it may be wise to avoid buying him this. He will say thank you but he will probably never use it.

  1. Sentimental gifts 

Sentimental gifts are always meaningful and are usually highly valued even if they don’t cost that much money. These may include old pictures revamped in a new frame, a painting of a picture or a photograph on a canvas or something that captures or reminds him of a special time. The options are endless and will depend on what your pops likes/needs

  1. The gift of service

It is not a must you have to buy a gift. Acts of service may be just as or even more meaningful as a gift you’ve purchased. Maybe your dad enjoys a special meal that you don’t prepare very often – make that. Maybe your dad has been mentioning he needs his phone fixed or needs some new shoes – do that. Dads are human beings too and acts of service are a thoughtful way to say you care.

  1. Destination gifts 

This is obviously if you can afford it. Dads need to relax too and the spa is a great place to relax. You can book him a spa day or a massage. Some of the stress you give him can be alleviated this way. A holiday/ weekend getaway is also great (if you can afford of course).

  1. Hobby /Personal interest related gifts. 

This will come from studying your father and knowing the things he likes and dislikes. My father is a book lover and so books are always a safe winning option. I also have been able to identify the type of genre of books he will read. This has come from simply studying him and looking at the books he tends to read. This has helped me streamline my gift buying to things I know he will definitely use and find useful.

These are some ideas I was able to come up with. Do you have some more ideas? Share them below

Until next time

Memoirs of a Yoruba Girl

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A Personal Vent On Domestic Abuse in Nigerian Culture

This is a personal vent. I’m sure people may agree or disagree but I am entitled to my personal opinion which I have decided to share.

Nigeria has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in Africa. More than two thirds of Nigerian women are believed to experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of their husbands. (Lifted from this website: http://www.havenrefuge.org.uk/index.php/about-the-haven/international-projects/nigeria)

I keep hearing stories of woman who died at the hands of an abusive husband. I’m only aware of this in Nigerian culture but I am sure this will happen in other cultures too.

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In the Nigerian culture, it seems rampant that females who are suffering from domestic abuse are always encouraged (especially by pastors or those in spiritual authority) to stay with their abusive husbands because God will change him and God doesn’t like divorce. I totally believe God can change anybody and I am not an advocate for divorce on any account. The bible doesn’t document any support of divorce apart from if either of the partners commit adultery. What I don’t agree with is encouraging a woman who being abused by her husband to stay with him and endure beating after beating and continue praying and never consider leaving. People that offer that kind of advice to people have no heart whatsoever. If it was your daughter or a member of your own family on the receiving end of blows from her husband, I don’t believe you would encourage her to stay there and continue to receive abuse. You would likely go there and pick her up yourself.

The people who are being abused can very well end up DYING and leaving their children with no mother. If not to that extreme, the children may see their mother being hurt by their father and this can start a vicious cycle in children who are moulded by what they see. I’m not married so I may not understand how it is but what I do know is that either as a married person or a single person, every one has the right to live without fear of being harmed or hurt by someone that is meant to love them. If anything or anyone is challenging that right, I believe you need to leave, for the sake of your life and your safety.

Is a person that can lay their hand on you worth dying for? Definitely not. Jesus did however already die for that person so get yourself safe and pray that God will change them. You can’t change them and staying to receive beatings will definitely not change them. God is the only one that can change someone anyway.

That’s my two pence. I find it so sad to hear a woman stayed with an abusive husband to “make it work”. From the first time he hit you, making it work shouldn’t be what you were thinking. Saving your life should be what you are thinking. A quick Google search will show how serious this has become.

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2012/may/22/domestic-violence-west-africa-irc

Until Next Time

Memoirs of a Yoruba Girl

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