When this book was first released, it was surrounded by a lot of buzz and still is. I was curious about the life and story of Toke Makinwa so I decided to read the story. The book for the month of March 2017 is On Becoming by Toke Makinwa.
Credit to Amazon for this image
The book is a biography about Toke Makinwa’s life up to this point. She talks about her life experiences from childhood, the tragic loss of her parents and the breakdown of her very famous and public marriage. She uses her story to share key lessons on life and relationships in a candid way.
The Book’s Description
Toke never envisaged that she would be a successful media personality. She began her journey as a bubbly child but grew into a lonely teenager after the devastating loss of both her parents. For so long after, it seemed as though she would never find herself.
On Becoming is the real Toke Makinwa telling us what it is like to be one of the most talked about celebrities in Nigeria. She reveals the truth behind her 14-year relationship with the man she finally married. A marriage that ended
in an atrocious scandal that nearly brought her to her knees.
In the wake of the peaks and troughs that characterise Toke’s experiences, she now shares her struggle with blinding betrayal, finding forgiveness and drawing strength from her faith in God.
On Becoming is Toke’s journey through pain to victory.
It was interesting to get to know a bit about the person behind the name. Toke Makinwa is a private person so although she is a socialite, there isn’t that much we know about her apart from the information she has made available about herself. I found the parts she shared about her childhood and about her parent’s very open and honest.
I also appreciated her honesty in sharing the things she did about her marriage relationship because some of the things she shared are things that are very private and people would often want to remain that way.
I would have liked to know more about her career journey to success. As I touched on earlier, Toke Makinwa is someone that is private and only shares things about herself that she wishes to. I feel there would be a lot of useful knowledge to glean from her career story. Although she did touch on it very slightly when she talks about staying in London for some time, she doesn’t really explore this more.
At times, it felt it little like the story jumped from one topic to another, kind of losing us on the way there.
KEY LESSON (S)
- Do not ignore the red flags! While reading Toke’s story, it became clear there were behavioural patterns that were repeatedly displayed by Maje. It would have saved Toke a lot of heart ache had she have paid attention to the flags.
- Do unto others as you would have them do to you – from Toke’s account of her experience, it doesn’t appear as though Maje considered Toke’s feelings much. I am apprehensive to completely say that because there are always two sides to a story and we have not heard Maje’s side. It may completely flip the script.
- Love is powerful and very addictive – love clearly can make a person do things they wouldn’t have dreamt possible. Toke shares how she started using creams to lighten her skin to make her appeal more to her then spouse
- In the multitude of counsellors there is safety – Toke shares that a number of people warned her about her relationship with Maje and went as far as to say even his own sister warned her. There is definitely truth to the scripture in Proverbs 11:14.
MARKS OUT OF TEN – 6/10
Hope you enjoyed my review; do let me know if you read it yourself
Until next time
Memoirs of a Yoruba Girl
We all know the story. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love, boy proposes. Boy and girl get married. Then they live happily ever after.
What happens to the Maiden name? It is common place that the woman will change her surname after marriage and be fully amalgamated into her husband’s family.
My question is why does the woman have to change her Maiden name.
1. What if she doesn’t like her husband’s name that much? To go from maybe a Michael to a Ogunlana or Koleosho might not be the easiest transition (no shade intended)
2. What if she prefers her original Maiden name? Nothing wrong with that right? She has only had the name since she was born
3. What if the husband likes her surname more than his? Can’t he change his name to hers, the only constant thing in life is that fact that things change, I guess your surname can follow that trend too
4. Why can’t everyone just keep their own surnames? That will prevent any confusion from either parties
5. Can we make a new surname together and roll with that
I have often wondered about this as someone who would like a hypenated surname. Technically there is no good reason why everyone could not keep their original names. I can however hear the words “culture” and “tradition” floating around.
On the plus side, there is no complication with having to change the names on your important documents, certificates and passports. It also allow you retain a name you’ve had all of your life so far, which will be important to you and your identity.
On the other side, taking your spouse’s name would help you to maybe feel more “married”. It would make for less confusion especially when children come into the picture. And invitations and letters addressing the both of you would be easier to address.
What do you think? Is keeping your maiden name important? Or does it not make a difference? Comment and let me know what you think
Until next time
Memoirs Of A Yoruba Girl
Yoo, welcome to the place to be!
Sunshine!! Ive been nicely getting tanned and enjoying ice cream these past few days. I promised myself at the start of the “heatwave” that I WOULDNT complain about the weather. Have you ever noticed that weather is the main thing that English people , people that live in England like to talk about? Doesnt matter the weather, we are never satisifed, always complaining.”Its too hot”, “Its too cold”, “Its raining”, “Its hailing”, “theres lightening” and etc.
I was thinking about it, Gods must not know what to do with us. We say its too cold, so he brings sunshine. We say its too hot, he brings rain. We say its too wet, He says forget it and gives us more sunshine, LOL
A nice random view I saw today in town, a bit different, wouldnt do this myself but its cool all the same. And to whoever it was getting married, happy married life (even thought you’ll probably never know you made it on to my blog) and you picked a very good day to get married ,(Y)