Monthly Archives: February 2014

A Personal Vent On Domestic Abuse in Nigerian Culture

This is a personal vent. I’m sure people may agree or disagree but I am entitled to my personal opinion which I have decided to share.

Nigeria has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in Africa. More than two thirds of Nigerian women are believed to experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of their husbands. (Lifted from this website: http://www.havenrefuge.org.uk/index.php/about-the-haven/international-projects/nigeria)

I keep hearing stories of woman who died at the hands of an abusive husband. I’m only aware of this in Nigerian culture but I am sure this will happen in other cultures too.

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In the Nigerian culture, it seems rampant that females who are suffering from domestic abuse are always encouraged (especially by pastors or those in spiritual authority) to stay with their abusive husbands because God will change him and God doesn’t like divorce. I totally believe God can change anybody and I am not an advocate for divorce on any account. The bible doesn’t document any support of divorce apart from if either of the partners commit adultery. What I don’t agree with is encouraging a woman who being abused by her husband to stay with him and endure beating after beating and continue praying and never consider leaving. People that offer that kind of advice to people have no heart whatsoever. If it was your daughter or a member of your own family on the receiving end of blows from her husband, I don’t believe you would encourage her to stay there and continue to receive abuse. You would likely go there and pick her up yourself.

The people who are being abused can very well end up DYING and leaving their children with no mother. If not to that extreme, the children may see their mother being hurt by their father and this can start a vicious cycle in children who are moulded by what they see. I’m not married so I may not understand how it is but what I do know is that either as a married person or a single person, every one has the right to live without fear of being harmed or hurt by someone that is meant to love them. If anything or anyone is challenging that right, I believe you need to leave, for the sake of your life and your safety.

Is a person that can lay their hand on you worth dying for? Definitely not. Jesus did however already die for that person so get yourself safe and pray that God will change them. You can’t change them and staying to receive beatings will definitely not change them. God is the only one that can change someone anyway.

That’s my two pence. I find it so sad to hear a woman stayed with an abusive husband to “make it work”. From the first time he hit you, making it work shouldn’t be what you were thinking. Saving your life should be what you are thinking. A quick Google search will show how serious this has become.

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2012/may/22/domestic-violence-west-africa-irc

Until Next Time

Memoirs of a Yoruba Girl

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I’m Inspired, Now Its Your Turn

Hey hey

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I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of motivational talks in your lifetime and I don’t by any means consider myself a motivational speaker. However I would like to share some words of wisdom I (try to) live by.

1. Life is short, do what you love – this is something I am working on personally. It doesn’t mean you have to make money off of it, if you are passionate about it (and it’s legal) I say go for it. Even if it’s weird. The worst that can happen is that you fail. If you fail, you won’t die.
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2.Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet here, all you have is now – it’s time to let go of the past. The regrets we wish we could rewind and change. The opportunities we wish we took. The grades we wish we got. The people we wish we met. I think we can be complacent because we feel we have loads of time. A big big wake up call is that people your age and younger than you pass on all the time. Everyday is a gift and tomorrow isn’t promised. Don’t leave till tomorrow what you can do today.

3. If you never ask, you never get – the worst thing that can happen if you ask is that a person says no or a place turns you down. You may even find they say yes. But the answer will always be a definite no if you never ask.

4. The worst thing that can happen is that you fail….You won’t die.

5. Life gets exciting when you challenge yourself and step outside of your comfort zone.

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6. Sometimes you have to motivate yourself and then motivate yourself again – sometimes people may just not see what you see so can’t support what your doing. You may have to be your own cheerleader sometimes.

7. God meets us at the point of taking action – we pray and then we act. “Faith without works is dead”. That means if its in God’s will and you’ve prayed it through, step out and God will meet you there as you take action.

8. The people we look up to, the products we can’t live without all came from someone taking a step out of their comfort zone – who knows what you have to offer the world?

9. Procrastination steals from you and can eventually kill you – procrastination is an enemy because it steals your time. Time is priceless because you can never get it back …. Ever.

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I hope these thoughts have encouraged you to step out and make this the year you change your life. I’ll come back and check these when I get demotivated and I hope you’ll do the same.

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Until Next Time
Memoirs Of A Yoruba Girl
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Travelling On The London Underground 101

Who travels to work with the underground? I do.Who travels for leisure on the underground? I do. Who has a car but still takes the underground around? Me (when I get the car). Basically the London Underground is a staple of travelling for Londoners. You either love it hate it but you probably can’t do without it. Since July, I have had to travel to and from work via the London Underground AKA beloved sauna/sardine tin.

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I have come to realise there are many people that travel on the London Underground that don’t know what they are doing. This can leave other passengers (namely me) a little frustrated, annoyed sometimes straight up angry. So I have complied the “Travelling on the London Underground 101” guide

1.When travelling on the underground, especially during peak times of the day, keep your bag close to you with the zip in your eyesight – how can you travel in such a busy place with the zip on your bag facing all the other London passengers? It’s just silly to be honest. A bit like, (actually a lot like) people who go to a cash machine to get cash and show everyone else their pin. If the bag doesn’t have a zip , don’t even bother.

2.Please respect my personal space, even on the underground – sometimes when the train is packed, its very likely you’ll have to get closer to a stranger than you feel comfortable. As much as possible, respect their personal space. Sitting down doesn’t give you the right to poke away at my arms with your elbows either.

3.If there is little to no chance of you being able to board the train, save the running and trying to fly through the doors for another day – if I see a train with the doors open I instantly become superwoman and run for the doors BUT I can happily accept if I cant catch the train and will happily walk and wait.

4.If the train is packed (or not) make sure your bag /goods aren’t stuck in the door – it’s so so annoying when the train breaks suddenly and does the “jerk break” that can send you flying across the train.

5.Hold on to something when the train is moving – the said “jerk break” can have you upstanding one minute and have you sat in a stranger’s lap the next minute – awkward.

6.When travelling on the underground, anything can happen…absolutely anything – In all the time I’ve been using the underground, I have seen a spice girls tribute performance, a few being swung by said “jerk break”, a sleeping man who had the courtesy to take off his shoes before napping. I was so surprised I had to take pictures, which are below.

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7. If you catch someone’s eye while travelling, quickly look away or they may think you are weird , attracted to them or crazy – tourists may not always understand this and may stare away at you.

8. If you see an elderly person standing, offer them your seat – the only difficulty now is you can’t always tell who is actually old and deserves to take a seat and someone who just looks a bit old but is really young. You risk possibly offending someone if you judge it a bit wrong.

9.If you see a pregnant lady standing on the train, again rule 8 applies – I salute the pregnant ladies I see travelling on the underground, it looks like torture. I only just realised people wear the “baby on board” badge to let you know they are actually pregnant.

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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9946394/Lifes-misery-on-the-Tube-ifyouve-got-a-Baby-on-Board.html

10. During rush hour, empty seats are like water in the desert – when the train is packed everyone patiently waits for a seat to become vacant. When one becomes free, you have a split second of thinking time to either take the seat or give it up. If you take too long, someone will take the seat.

11. If you don’t know where you are going, please don’t stand in the middle of the walkway to plan your journey – the staff of the London Underground are employed for times like this. Don’t suffer in silence, ask one of them.

12. When travelling underground, if you don’t have earphones on, headphones on, a phone to watch things on, a kindle to read or a tablet/iPad or a newspaper to read, you are missing out

13. When waiting on the platform for the train, step away from the yellow line – the day I heard in passing that people can intentionally push other people over the edge was the day I quickly backed away and looked back.

14. Please take your newspaper with you when you leave the train, DON’T try to balance it on the window behind – I think Londoners are just litter bugs, that’s why they would rather drop things in the floor than take them and bin them

15. If someone is reading a newspaper, please don’t peer over their shoulder to read it – I don’t know if this ticks anyone else off but it ticks me off to no end

Even with all my ranting, I do love the underground. It’s iconic, a staple of London and actually cuts down loads of time on commuting. London Underground, We Love You!

Any I missed out? Drop them below in the comments box

Until next time
Memoirs Of A Yoruba Girl
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